Inspiring Mums® Where Mums Smile & Shine®

Motherhood & Lifestyle Blog with Heather James & Family

Melbourne Australia


Inspiring Mums®
Motherhood, Lifestyle & Travel Blog
"Where Mums Smile & Shine®"


{ Love } Ways to improve your self worth when looking for love #lookingforlove #relationships


We all deserve the right love and affection, from the right person who connects us to our soul and brings us to life.

They don't look for the imperfections at every chance they get, they don't question the connection, they don't sabotage your connection or make excuses not to be with you.

They will tell you not to change a thing about yourself. They are loving, kind, caring, generous, encouraging, supportive and celebrate your successes with you. They may question or critique you but will do so without anger. They forgive easily and focus on what they love and adore about you, especially when you mess up. They won't be thinking "what can I get out of this person" or use you in a negative or selfish way.

Find that person who worships your heart and soul first, who worships the ground you walk on, who can't wait to see you next and tells you so, misses you when you are gone, knows a good thing when they have it and will appreciate you wholeheartedly. This person will tell you they are never letting you go.

We all deserve the kind of love you are looking for and if you are going solely off looks or appearance, don't be surprised if you get disappointed. We have all fallen for that rush. The ego is a tricky thing... we love that feeling when we meet and connect with someone so physically attractive it takes your breath away... you get a buzz from it but ask yourself do they meet your love language needs?

For me, words of affirmation, touch and quality time are important to me. I don't need gifts or acts of kindness to be fulfilled in a loving relationship.

I thought that I wanted and needed my partner to be handsome and physically fit, but realise that a handsome man can appear to be ugly once you get to know them and an average man can become handsome simply by the way he treats you.

The man who looks at me like I am the only amazing woman on the planet wins me over (obviously I'm not because you guys are just as amazing ;D). When he really appreciates what I do for him or say to him by responding in with love and care, that's when you know.

As you you will read in my story on Come Adrift you will see my love languages were not met. I didn't realise that was such an important part of a relationship, to be honest, even if we addressed those needs before separating, it would have been fruitless. I think I knew this for a long time.

But... I know I can be loved, flaws and all, I know I can give love wholeheartedly and make a man the happiest most fulfilled man alive. I have a lot of love to give to the man who truly wants to be loved. Some men don't. Some men are not ready for the woman you are, or they know too much about you before you even get started and prejudge to find faults in you to dismiss the connection.

I made a decision after leaving my ex, to be open to dating men I didn't think I would go out with. I said to myself, no inhibitions, be open to different types of men who at least meet some of my needs. Got rid of the "boxes" because for a long time I felt like a tick in a box. I don't want to do that to someone else. So I let that shit go and I move forward now with soul connections and I focus on what my soul and heart needs to move forward in life and love. I don't want or need to be a kept woman, I will make my own money, lay my own foundations and it will be the right man who embraces that part of me and isn't threatened or emasculated by it.

There was a time where I got sucked in to the ego, it was exciting and fun, but didn't have longevity, what I thought was soul and spiritual connection, wasn't. But it's ok, I enjoyed the experience and have learned a valuable lesson to value my worth more than a fleeting buzz of ego based thrill.

Chances are... I may have found something.... Time will tell, but things are looking good and I am very grateful.

#speakingfromtheheart #vulnerable #loved #lovetalk #relationships #marriage #separation #boyfriend #ego #soul #heart #lovelanguages #grateful #iamloved #lovehate #dating #findinglove #selfworth#singlemums #singlemoms